The Weird Power Of Surprises: Why Our Brain Loves (And Hates) It
Imagine you're scrolling your messages, and suddenly an old friend you haven’t heard from in years sends a sweet voice note. That jolt of joy? That’s your brain responding to a surprise.
Surprises can be delightful, like an unexpected compliment. But they can also feel jarring, like a last-minute meeting invite when you’ve already hit your social max. Either way, surprises activate our nervous system. And understanding this can help us work with our minds, not against them.
Why Our Brain Craves the Unexpected
Our brains are wired for prediction. Every day, your mind runs little simulations of what’s likely to happen next. When something disrupts that script, like a friend showing up with coffee unannounced, your brain lights up.Specifically, it releases dopamine (a “feel-good” brain chemical that fuels motivation and reward) because it’s learning something new. That’s part of why plot twists in movies feel so satisfying.
Surprises also help you remember. Studies show that unexpected events create stronger, longer-lasting memories. So yes, your brain is actually trying to file away that random Tuesday when someone paid for your coffee in line.
Why Surprises Can Feel Overwhelming
But here’s the flip side: not all surprises are fun. If you’re already running on low emotional reserves, even a small change in plans can tip the scales. When you’re managing the invisible load of daily life such as childcare, deadlines, and family needs, unexpected events can feel less like serendipity and more like sabotage.
This is especially true for perfectionists or those who crave structure to stay grounded. When things deviate from “the plan,” your brain can register it as a threat, activating your fight-or-flight system. That’s why even an innocent “Can you hop on a quick call?” text can spike anxiety.
How to Build a Softer Buffer for the Unexpected
You don’t have to love every surprise. But you can build in gentle ways to make room for them.
Leave space in your day. Think of unstructured time as emotional bubble wrap because it absorbs life’s little shocks.
Name what’s happening. Saying, “This threw me off a bit,” can help your brain switch from reaction to reflection.
Practice small doses of novelty. Change your walking route. Try a new playlist. Safe surprises help you stay mentally flexible.
Finding Safety in the Unpredictable
At Nebbi, we know that not every day goes to plan. That’s why our app is designed with micro-shifts and gentle guidance grounded in CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy, a practical way to understand how thoughts affect feelings). So whether you’re reeling from a surprise or riding the high of one, we’re here to help you check in, reset, and carry on without guilt or pressure.
Surprises are part of life’s rhythm. With a little support, you can learn to ride the wave instead of bracing for impact.
Need help finding your footing on unpredictable days? Nebbi’s tools are here for you, guilt-free, science-backed, and always in your corner.
